Ah, ahoy there, fellow sea lover.
Name’s Jesse Tidus here -- the one and only. I suppose you’ve heard of me before.
…What? You haven’t? Mind you, I’ve been busy making a name for myself as the “most handsome pirate” that these shores have ever laid their figurative eyes on.
Hah! I’m only having a bit of fun. A bit of bamboozling, if you will. I really am quite handsome though. That part is most definitely not a lie. You may ask: how did someone as charming and sophisticated as I… end up in a life of piracy?
Oh? Are you interested? Ah, well. That’s a story for another time, love.
Charming a fair lass is an easy task for someone like me, of course. But not quite easy to this young fellow: , was it? I hear from my comrade, Erin Amorous, that Fancies this lady named , but lacks the, um, proper gallantry to ask for her affections. And you see, I haven’t got the time to assist the poor fellow. , my new seafaring friend.
It’s all in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, why isn’t it? Go on then, , and he can get you started on becoming a full-fledged matchmaker. And if his Black Guard uniform seems off-putting to you… well, you best hold onto your bloomers. It’s only a disguise! But you didn’t hear that from me, love.
And what about you? Have you got a lover yourself? A special lass or lad? I’d give you some … agreeable words to utter to the one whom you hold dear to your heart, but, However, no matter what coquettish words spill out of your mouth, nobody would look twice at you if you continue to wear that dreadful get-up. You should be able to acquire the perfect Valentine’s Day outfit from the peddlers, and then you can look as stunning as me, friend. Go and get your bonnie lass. Or … bonnie lad, I suppose.
Well, I’d best be off. Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching; I’ve spotted an alluring lass over by the docks, so I suppose it’s time to ... go fishing. Hopefully I catch a legendary, hmm?
Hurry along, now.
Until next time, love.
Jesse Tidus, Your Most Captivating Freebooter